Slaphead FC- A look at the Premier Leagues best ever baldies…

We take a look at the best balding ballers that have graced the Premiership with their shiny heads. What they lacked in hair follicles, they made up for in Class…

Keeper- Bartez

The World Cup winners spell at Man united was mixed with outstanding saves and being beaten on the near post- most notably in their Champions League exit to the Galacticos with Ronaldo’s (yes, the fat one) in the 12th Minute.

After his retirement, the Frenchman took up Motorsport and is now a respected driver, coming 29th in the 2014 24 hours of Le Mans. Who’d have guessed? He’s also quite handy out on pitch with a sweet left foot, so could rotate for rush Goalie with ease.

Defence- Franck LeBouf

Lebouf was also part of France’s World Cup winning team in “98 and is a consistent penalty taker, converting 17 from 20 for Chelsea in the late 90’s- a must if there’s any possibility of spot kicks. After retirement leBouf spent time in the Glamourous LA, playing as a midfielder for tr celebrity team Hollywood United. He also appeared in the 2001 film Taking sides.

Defence- Jaap Stam

What a player this man was! His bald head made him look like a hooligan rather than a classy defender with 3 Premier League titles, a Champions League and 4 major international finals under his belt. He is still very much involved in the game as manager of Jong Ajax- Ajax reserves. Who knows, we may see the Dutchman back in the Prem in a few years in a managerial role…

Midfield Maestro- Patrick Vieira

Vieira, the complete midfielder and Arsenal legend who is now Man City Reserves Manager (Awks). From 1996- 2005 Paddy V lit up the Premiership and Captained Arsenal’s invincibles, becoming one of the most decorated midfielders in the history of the Premiership. As well as 3 Premier Leagues & 5 FA Cups, Vieira has a winners and runners up World Cup medal and a European Championship to his name. Take a bow son.

Striker/Manager- Gianluca Vialli

Vialli was a decent striker for Chelsea netting 40 goals in 83 appearances for the club, but his role as manager is where he shone for the Blues. After taking over as player manager from Ruud Gullit he guided Chelsea to the League Cup and European Cup winners Cup in his first few months. In his time at Stamford Bridge Vialli also won the European Super Cup, FA Cup and Charity Sheild, becoming the clubs most successful manager at the time.

Oh, and of course we’d need a ref… Who better than Pierre Luigi Collina, who has come to England’s rescue on more than one occasion.


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